Blog Post #4: Fear vs Focus

I describe myself as a ‘challenge accepted’ type of person. I typically don’t shy away from problem solving because the infinite amount of problems in this world created me. In my opinion, to problem solve means to prepare for accountability. And from that perspective, I can see why people typically prefer to be passive, submissive, and dismissive instead.

I’ve been passive and aggressive before and just like you, people have put labels on me all my life. Nothing feels greater than living my truth and to me that looks like embracing my life as it is in the present moment. I can’t waste time trying to control narratives and I won’t continue to project my past fears into my future. I’m no longer concerned about sending the wrong messages because that’s inevitable. I’m more focused on clarifying messages when I have the chance and care to do so given that ‘perception is reality.’

I’ve tried to protect people’s feelings at the expense of mine, learning that that’s not a long term solution. I’m becoming more comfortable with taking up space and I’m no longer interested in trying to make room for everyone else. A puzzle comes with the exact amount of pieces needed to complete the picture. There’s no extra space for extra pieces and when completed, the puzzle naturally spreads and takes up space. I am a puzzle, my life is a puzzle, and I must protect and build with the pieces that shape me. There is a such thing as being too inclusive and I’ve made this mistake a few times.

My ‘challenge accepted’ mentality is a product of trauma and success. In some cases it’s been unmatched, but in other cases I have met thinkers who have similar mentalities as me, and it’s a very refreshing feeling. I haven’t met people like Micheal Jordan, Gary Vee, and Queen Latifah yet, but I eagerly look forward to conversations with them one day. Until then, I equally look forward to meeting other ‘challenge accepted’ type of people who I’m destined to meet on my journey. ‘Challenge accepted’ people are motivated by adversity and unafraid of having openminded conversations.

Whether it’s your group of friends that you smoke and drink with or your long time business partner that you started a record label with, I hope you find your version of ‘challenge accepted’ groups and individuals, too. Let it happen naturally and remember that there’s an easier way and a harder way to do all things. What sacrifices are you willing to make? And for who?

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